Can’t Go Back

Paula could not believe how easily she had fallen into bed with her ex. Here she was a woman in her late forties with enough sense to know better. I mean Doug was her ex husband, a man she would always be connected to through their two daughters but a man, who during their marriage was a below average husband. Let’s just be honest. Doug sucked as a husband. Yeah he had charm, sex appeal, and a sense of humor that could rival any comic, but a good husband he was not.

Doug’s flaw was not that he was a cheater, because he had been faithful to Paula. Doug’s flaw was that he was an adolescent boy in a middle-aged body who did not like convention whatsoever. Neither did Paula at one point, but once she became a mother that free spiritedness that Doug became attracted to soon became a cross too big for her to bear.  Reagan and Annie needed normalcy, not two parents too drunk and high off pot to be of any use to them. So to put it bluntly, Doug and Paula grew apart and their constant arguing led to them living in the same house but in separate bedrooms. After months of living this way, Paula decided to lawyer up and got a quickie divorce courtesy of her friend Serena’s lawyer. Doug let her have the house and since he was a nomad of sorts thanks to his job as a tour manager for some of the music world’s biggest acts, he didn’t really need to root himself in one place. That’s why on this Tuesday afternoon Doug was laid up in a room at the Sheraton with Paula beside him still sweaty from their lovemaking session, but looking as though she was about to burst into tears at any given moment.

“Paula are you okay”?

She looked over at her ex and quickly jumped up out of the bed and started screaming all sorts of obscenities at him.

After Paula wore herself out screaming at him, Doug in his usual cavalier way said, ” I guess that answers my question.”.

Paula wanted to slap him. She knew he planned this seduction.  After all he hated seeing her happy with Rich, her significant other of over a year who had just proposed to her and was awaiting her answer. She came over to the hotel to discuss the situation with her ex due to Reagan their teenager acting out and pretty much disrespecting Rich at every turn. What started out as a conversation between two co parents soon turned into a full on make out session once the rain started and the smooth sounds of Sade filled the suite.”

“Why are you trying to sabotage me and Rich? You and I ended years ago. I am sure on your travels you meet a lot of women so why today of all days when I come to you with a serious problem you make a move on me”?

Doug laughed.  He could not believe the gall of this woman. She actually thought he planned to seduce her. The truth of the matter is he was just as surprised as her once they hit the sheets.

“Paula you know I like Rich. I like you and Rich together so don’t flatter yourself thinking this was a planned seduction. Plus you act as though I forced myself on you.  If I recall you weren’t exactly fighting me off now were you?

Paula turned her head in embarrassment.

“So what gives Paula? Are you in love with Rich or not because your behavior today does not exemplify that of a woman in love”.

Paula stormed towards him and said without hesitation, “Yes I am”.

” Well explain what happened”.

“I can’t. I just know it was a momentary lapse in judgement never to happen again. In fact to ensure it never happens again you and I will not be meeting alone anymore. If you want to speak with me, do it over the phone or in a public place.


“Doug I deserve happiness in this life. Rich makes me happy. No he isn’t charming like you or as sexy, but he’s stable and I care for him very much”.

“So these rules are in place because you find me that irresistible”?, Doug says with a grin.

Paula shakes her head.”Yes. I need to start over fresh and I can’t do it with the ghost of an ex husband I thought I was over getting in my way. Can you understand that Doug”?

“If you really think you can be happy with the dentist Paula, I will gladly back off.  Doug pauses before adding, “But you’ll be back. You and I both know it”.